Sex Is Not the Story

I know, it sounds weird coming from an erotic writer, but it’s the truth. At least, it is for me. I don’t write sex stories. I write stories that have sex in them. To me, there is a difference. I’m not criticizing those that just write to share sex, because I love to read those stories, as well, and love it when the girls do. It tends to make for some steamy evenings. Still, those are not the stories I write. I want the sex to be a by-product of the tale I am trying to tell, not the other way around.

Furthermore, I don’t explore sex. I explore relationships. Again, not criticizing those who do. I prefer to see what makes certain people tick inside of specific situations. In Losing Faith, it wasn’t just the control Faith wanted to experience that I was exploring, but how the Greers responded within that exploration. It is also a learning experience to see how those around them responded to what was going on as personalities evolved and people were tossed into situations beyond their comfort level. Those are the stories I like to tell.

Blogging from the Heart Writing Tour

Blogger extraordinaire, Stephanie Neighbour, tagged me to participate in the Blogging from the Heart Writing Tour, giving me a chance to share with you my next work in progress. If you have not yet visited Stephanie’s blog, you are not only missing out on a great chuckle, but also a unique insight into human behavior. Stephanie is not afraid to poke fun at herself, which is probably why we get along so well, and through her quirky introspection help us to see a side of life we may have been avoiding. Thanks, Stephanie, for your writing as well as giving me this opportunity to talk about my next novel.

Stephanie Neighbour

What am I working on?

With Losing Faith fresh off the presses so to speak, my mind has gone to another series of a kinkier nature. While there will be more in the Rutherford Series–the next one will follow Morgan Brewer in Roll the Dice–my creative side has delved into a new series called The Society of Thorns. The first book in this series is titled Surrender and will follow Virginia Hart as she discovers the BDSM world through Jaron Towers.

5 Don’ts to Sex

Everyone wants to be a better lover and we all want great sex. Well, I don’t know if that’s true about you, but I know it’s true about me. It’s also true that sex is one of the main things fought about in relationships along with money and whether or not the toilet seat gets put down. There are dozens of books out there to help you improve all the right things about your sex life, but I’ve discovered that if you work on five simple don’ts, your sex life will become steamier, even without learning how to do that crazy thing with your tongue.

My novel, Losing Faith, is an exploration of sexual fantasies and how they affect relationships–marriage relationships, friendships, even work relationships. In the book, the characters have to face these don’ts in order to open themselves up to the experiences they want to have. It’s a novel about Faith’s exploration into her sexual side and how Selby goes along for the ride. Because they overcome these fears and don’ts, they are able to enjoy a side of themselves that had been boxed up. Let’s take a peek at what not to do for a better sex life.

Not Everything Needs to Be Shared

Hello? Hello? Anyone there?

Last week we talked about how sometimes I suck at communication with the girls and the ways that I’ve overcome some of those malfunctions and the tricks that I have learned. At the end of the piece, it may have seemed as if I contradicted point one, make sure everyone knows everything, with point three, not everyone in the family needs to know everything. However, each point was referring to something else in that all-encompassing word “everything”. Everyone does need to know each other’s schedules and important dates, so that we can make sure we don’t over book ourselves. We need to know the highlights of each other’s day and when someone is hurting, so that we can join in the celebration or hold them up until the trial passes. Still, in our family, sometimes staying silent is better. The trick is to know when not to communicate something.

Now, before we go any further, allow me to stress that I am not referring to keeping secrets. Secrets can kill a relationship and usually means someone is doing something they shouldn’t be. If this is happening, then your relationship already has major issues.

The Communication Malfunction

What did you want again?

“Don’t forget the Clarks are coming over today,” I said to Char on our daily lunch conversation.

“Oh? When did this happen?”

“Tuesday. Remember? I told you that Teri had set it up and we were going to do a game night thing.” I already knew how the rest of this conversation was going to play out, but I had to keep going anyway. You would think I’d learn by now, surrender, and just get my apology over with. I’m stubborn when it comes to learning things, however.

“Um, no, you never told me. Must have been Sarah.”

“I’m sure I told you. I tell each of you everything. I know the trouble I get in if I don’t.” And I was once again in trouble, because I hadn’t told her. You would think I would have this problem under control by now and, to be honest, I do try. However, the problem is once I’ve told one of them, my mind registers that I’ve said it and promptly shifts it to the back of my brain where it floats with everything else I’ve forgotten to tell one of them. You see, when it comes to communication, my brain sometimes is my worst enemy and, therefore, I have to create new ways of getting myself out of trouble. Sometimes it even works.

It’s Fiction, not Autobiography

“I read your book last week.”

“Oh? I hope you liked it.”

“Very much so. But I just have to ask, did you really kill that guy like that? I mean, that was pretty brutal. How did it feel?”

“Excuse me? I haven’t killed anyone. What the hell are you talking about?”

“The murder scene in chapter eleven where you snuck up on Charles while he was getting his kids hot dogs, slit his throat and then stuffed him into the grill. Weren’t you scared?”

“I didn’t kill Charles. My character, Peter Branston killed Charles. It’s a murder mystery, you know, fiction. It’s not a true story.”

The Balance of More Equals Less

We want our home to be welcoming to all

It was our decision, but with that decision finally made, it forced other things upon us that dictated our course. We chose to live together under one roof, to be a family united and not divided by separate homes. We want to share couches while watching murder and mayhem on the television. We want to gather around the same table every night for dinner and discuss our day. We want to be there for each other for the happy as well as the sad as life unfolds and not have to wait until the next time we see each other. One home. One family.

Now, ideally this would be a mansion with vast amounts of space and an abundance of rooms. At the minimum, each of the girls would have their own individual room in order to escape the chaos of a full house once in a while. Each room would be decorated according to their own tastes and needs. Perhaps a table for their arts and crafts, an easel for painting, a recliner to kick back and read or simply a loveseat to take a quiet nap on would fill their room. Shelves would be filled with the things they like to collect and walls covered in paintings that sparked something within them. However it was decorated, it would be their own personality creating their private sanctuary.